Reply To: Why do some wives (newlyweds) act like Mashgichim to their husbands?

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#701970
aries2756
Participant

I agree with apushitayid. Just as a young wife has to take her job and making the parnasah seriously so does the Kolel yungerman have to take his job seriously and that means zerizus in going to minyan on time and in learning. No one is deducting pay from him for coming late and he is not at risk for losing his job if he slacks off. But he is at risk of losing his wife’s respect and admiration. He is also at risk for gaining his wife’s resentment for having to work hard to support him when he is not working equally as hard to deserve that support.

So if a wife is taking her job as “Ezer K’negdo seriously and finds that she needs to remind him or push him, then there must be a good reason for it. A husband who shows his commitment to his davening and learning by going on time or even early, who comes home exited about his shiur and wants to share a good vort, shows a wife that he doesn’t need a mashgiach watching over his time. A husband who asks his wife if she needs his help and specifically tells her he can run errands before or after zmanei tefillah or davening shows his wife that she does not have to be on top of him. In addition, such a husband does not mind when his wife reminds him of the time. Aderabah he appreciates that she is helping him do what is important to him.