The problem here is not that the father is learning – it is that the girl wants to marry a learning boy – but is planning to be dependent upon her father for support. The girl is in her late 20s – what has she been doing for the past 10 years to increase her education and earning power? If she wants a boy who is learning – it is her responsibility to try to make it work.
I had parents with absolutely no money but I wanted a learning boy. I went to school and got a good job and supported my husband in Kolel for 15 years. It was not easy. I did not have summers or Yomim Tovim off like my friends who are teachers (or work half a day for that matter). But B”H – we were able to do it without taking money from anybody or going on any programs. I know that Parnassah is from the Aibeshter – and am not saying that it was me – but I did do my hishtadlus and did not expect my parents or inlaws to support us. I have many friends who did what I did – and we all had Kovodik parnassah. There is no reason for a girl to settle on making $15,000 a year because she has no education. You can get Pell grants if you can’t afford it. Teaching is beautiful and very idealistic – but is incompatable with a Kollel life unless you want to be on govt programs or have rich parents.