RSRH-
Of course I can respect you for all that. Most of my family members are doing the same as you are (besides for the part about choosing not to support it) and serving Hashem through the way they chose.
I dont think that there is anything wrong with the life you chose. Not everyone was meant to learn all day and thats fine. All I ask of you is not to bash those of us that did choose to learn all day. We are learning the Torah that you believe in. So just please dont put it down.
As far as beng equal, I dont think that that has anything to do with this. I have no idea what schar is waiting for either of us. Maybe more was excpected of me and I wont get so much schar. And maybe you are doing exactly what is expected of you and will go straight to gan eden. I dont know who Hashem decides is equal.
All I know is that I dont consider myself equal to a lot of people out there. So why do you feel like we need to be equal? Would you say you should be equal to R’ Chaim Kanievsky as long as you are both adhering to Hashems law in all that you do?