“So, rather than let things fester, I did the sensible thing; I asked the friends husband if he wants to eat out. Once at the table, the 2 Mrs. were soon back on good terms. Not that there was a problem.. only a PERCIEVED problem.”
I like your style. That was a great idea (o’ course it coulda blown up in your face, if the two women really were broigez with each other!)
Ok, just FTR, if one observes one’s friend doing the wrong the thing, there is an inyan of Hocheiach tochiach es amitecha.
Also, for the one whose feelings are hurt, I would write your friend an extensive e-mail, telling her why you are hurt, and why you feel she is mistaken (this works for giving mussar to the person in whom you perceive a flaw, as well). It is hard to ignore what someone is saying when it is written in black and white and they can re-read and digest what is being stated. The words are also being written, no yelling involved, so the other party might “hear” what you are saying better than if you got into a verbal argument. There is no mistake in you saying one thing and the other person hearing something else. It is there b’ferush.