Everything bagel with lox.
The lox. High quality lox. I like delicate lox, so sockeye salmon is not really right even though it is a really good fish. No farmed fish for me. A good wild atlantic salmon, smoked well, not too salty.
I like to eat a lot of lox. Lox is expensive, so I don’t do it really often, but I’d rather gorge on lox once than eat a normal amount five times. (Picture Alaskan Brown Bears pulling dozens of salmon out of a stream)
The bagel. It must be an everything bagel, and it must really have everything. Especially coarse kosher salt. It must be a real bagel, no out of town bagels.
Purple onion. I don’t always put the onion in the sandwich but it must be there.
The reason we serve purple onion at a bris is so that when you come late to seder and tell your chavrusa you went to a bris, he will know if you are telling the truth. I keep an onion in my jacket pocket for emergencies. (My chavrusa keeps breath mints in his.)
WIY: Figure out which parts are serious. See if you can google it yourself this time.