Try matjas from Deli Plus on 18th ave and 57th st. He was the original matjas seller. Best shtiglitz is Schwartz. Of course you can try to make it yourself. Buy whole matjas filets. Lay them straight in a glass long bowl, sprinkle pepper and cover with sliced onions and olive oil. Wait 2 days. Cut up and eat with sliced eggs and tomatoes on crackers. Wash mouth with listerine and hands with deodorant soap.
Another. Buy a schmaltz herring filet (not the same as matjas, beware). Also a little pepper and onions and olive oil. Wait 2 days. Take the filet and cut into tiny pieces. Chop a tomato, onion, add herring pieces, add olive oil. Eat with fresh pumpernickle bread and butter. Wash mouth with listerine and hands with deodorant soap. But stay out of the world anyway.
Best single malt scotch after herring, any herring, is a good smoky one like Laphroaig or Lagavulin. Then eat chulent kishka kugel with smoked deli meats. Drink a good beer like Guinness stout or Zywiec porter or Doppel Spaten Optimator. Go to sleep for 2 hours. Wake up and be a maamin in Hashem and tchiyas hameisim. Never tell a goy to do this. You’ll kill the poor guy.