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thank you pashuteh yid you know you guys or gals are treally nice and have such kind words of chizuk i only wish we could actually meet in person cause gosh you people are nicer than my friends!!! i really do have a good sense of humor why just the other day my oncologist asked me ( he is not frum) why i am so happy cause i have so many terrible things happening and i told him well if he lets i can sit in his office and sob but he better have good food, drinks and something interesting to read cause if he is giving me the right i am gonna stay a long time. then he asked me to raise my neck cause he was doing a procedure to block some nerves in my neck and shoulder. he said it might be uncomfortable i told go right ahead but make sure not to cut my jugular otherwise i might ask to take over my job for me. he then told me its good i got a good sense of humor and he is happy to see me like this. the truth is is it worth to sit and cry all the time ? will the cancer or any other problem go away? NO OF COURSE NOT so all we gotta do is daven and ask hashem to help us!!!!