July 18, 2010 4:58 am at 4:58 am #591983
I am opening this thread to discuss survivor stories of people who had cancer and are b”h fine now. Unfortunately many of us (me included) have close ones that have been diagnosed.Most of us dont want to discuss personal stories in public, maybe here it can be a great chizuk to the ones that need it.
P.S. Please do not write any sad stories, we only need chizuk.July 18, 2010 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #708748HealthParticipant
Two of close relatives of mine had cancer. Now bli ayn hora, both are B”H fine. CA isn’t a death sentence anymore! Also, care has to be invidualized; not everything needs Sloan-Kettering Medical Center.July 19, 2010 4:22 am at 4:22 am #708749
You don’t have to to write a story. Any support you give can help lots of people that need it.July 19, 2010 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #708750sof davar hakol nishmaMember
i have a very close family member who had Y”m when he was about 19-20. B”h he fought it and was doing very well. He got married and right after that they found it again. B”H now he’s completely clean already for a year and half and they have a little baby!July 19, 2010 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #708751
we dont understand why hashem gives us tests, some people have sick children, some have sick parents, some habe special needs children or relatives and some have all the above. all i can say is hashem has his reasons and we have to accept it. i once asked the noveminsker rav why i had so many yisurim and he told me the more yisurim a person has the more hashem loves them. yes i have 2 special needs children a son with diabetes and 5 years ago had brain cancer. im not saying it wasnt hard ohmy it was but a person needs to look at thegood and thank hashem for that.July 19, 2010 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #708752
Mosh- wow you have a very positive outlook on life. You must be a special person. Hashem should give you continued strength and health.July 20, 2010 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #708753
thank you smartcookie for your sweet words. its nice to hear once in a while such words to give me chizuk. the truth is i am really like everyone else just have alot of bitachon and contact with many gedolim who are always available for divrei chizuk which we all need. hopefully this will be our last fastJuly 20, 2010 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #708754
Mosh3, May you and your entire family have a refuah shleima and may your lives be filled with simcha.July 21, 2010 1:07 am at 1:07 am #708755
thank you pashuteh yid, i appreciate your words of chizuk.July 21, 2010 2:11 am at 2:11 am #708756seeallsidesParticipant
the current chazaq personal stories of challenge (#81) is about a cancer survivor and very inspiring – may you see refuos b’mheira b’soch sha’ar cholei yisroelJuly 21, 2010 2:37 am at 2:37 am #708757
Mosh3, I am inspired by your betochen and outlook on life. May you continue be a source of chizuk for many people and may hashem help you to have a life of simcha and health.July 21, 2010 3:16 am at 3:16 am #708758benaliyahParticipant
Just wanted to share a few words. I’m not sure if everyone heard about the recent tragedy that happened in which a grandfather and his three granddaughter were killed. Last week Mr Menorah from Skokie IL was flying his private plane when during takeoff there was engine trouble causing the plane to crash killing 4 out of the 5 passengers r’l. There was one grandson who survived with many burns. Rabbi Zev Klein, a rebbe in Tomo, who lost a 17 year old daughter Sarah in this tragedy, spoke with tremendous bitachon and emunah at the levaya and I would like to share with you what he said. He proclaimed publicly his conviction and trust in hakodosh baruch hu… He shared that another one of his daughters was in America at the time and was supposed to be on the plane. Her survival and the specific detail that the grandson who survived was sitting in the back of the plane survived show how detailed the hashgocha pratis is on the world. Rabbi Klein explained that in a tzarah, you can look at the brochos and favorable happenings that hashem orchestrates amongst tragedy and suffering to get one through the pain. We dont know why hashem does what he does but in seeing the small beutiful details it strengthens our realization of hashem’s intimate involvement. This thought that we are in hashem’s cradling hands who knows what is really good helps us focus on OUR avodah to continue to do mitzvos, the path that our father in heaven knows is the best for us. Hatzlachah to all! May we know no more sorrow and may the geula and yeshua come soon!July 21, 2010 12:19 pm at 12:19 pm #708759
you see we dont understand hashem’s ways. i dont know if anyone read yesterday’s news, but on yeshiva world it said that had the bomber been successful times square would have been destroyed and lots of people would have died. it said that the fbi did tests to prove this. so we see that even amidts terrible times hashem is with us and watches over us. “HE NEVER SLEEPS OR SLUMBERS” its hard to understand why terrible things happen to good people all we have to say is its for the best and hope and daven that moshiach will be here VERY SOON!!!!July 21, 2010 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #708760Be HappyParticipant
I am fighting cancer at the moment. I hope one day soon soon to add myself to the list of survivors. Just some points that I thought I might share with you to help us win this fight!
All of you out there who are well please remember, we are not contaminated. I can’t tell you how many people walk past me or pretend I’m not there. I understand fully that you don’t know what to say. How about “so nice to see you, or I like your shietel.” Please don’t ask me my prognosis or where I am up to in treatment etc. I don’t expect you to tell me your medical history!
Please don’t say “ring me if you need me.” I won’t.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate those who regularly call me, even if it’s for a short hi! There are some who say I was scared to call you. Why? The worst is I can’t come to the phone or it’s not a good time. A friendly phone call really breaks the day.
I bensch those friends and neighbours who brought/bring plain cooked foods – chicken, fish salads.
I have one friend (I never really knew her before) who brings me Cd’s. Another friend brings me light reading material.
Please don’t tell me how bad I look. Don’t tell me that this a punishment….
B”H I am doing well and stay positive. Bezras Hashem, Moshiach should come and bring all of us Yeshuos and refuos with the geulo shleimo.July 21, 2010 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #708761
how i wish i could come over and talk to you member be happy but unfortunately yeshiva world does not let us give out personal info. i truly hope that you will be finished with this terrible nisayonJuly 21, 2010 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #708762sof davar hakol nishmaMember
Be Happy – im so glad you said what you did. A very close family member also had y”m and said the same exact things you said. I hope it really opens our eyes to be more sensitives. Have a refua sheleima.July 21, 2010 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #708763
Be happy, you are so right. People are so intimidated by someone who is sick or has any other problem(disability, infertility.)
These people are normal!
Refuah shelaime Be Happy! I hope you get through this very soon.
Stay strong!!July 22, 2010 9:15 am at 9:15 am #708764
A tzarah is what you make of it. Rather than “nebech” people for having them, I think theres more reason to “nebech” them for not having them. When Hashem sends a package, sometimes people forget to look at the card and they lose out on the extra present. Maybe the contents of the package wasnt exactly what you wanted, but now the power of Tefilla that you have is so much strengthened. And dont forget it. Specifically now, Hashem is keeping an extra close watch. This is proof of Hashems love for you, look at what kind of relationship He wants. Not just a simple, “regular” one, a solid, strong one!! He didnt choose a neighbor, a friend… He chose you! If that isnt proof what kind of person you are, I’m not quite sure what would be. Hashem, who created the world, and runs the world every single day, sent you a present! No, not a present that you might ask for, but once you have it, you will milk it for what its worth. Remember, “If Hashem brought you to it, he can get you through it. Hes the one who created this, and Hes the one whos orchestrating everything, so yes, of course He will help you through it.
Right now, you are more important to Hashem than anything. Dont forget that.
May Hashem grant a Refuah Shelaimah to whoever needs one.July 22, 2010 12:01 pm at 12:01 pm #708765volunteerMember
Wow All I Can Say Mi Ke’amchu Yisroal!!!
All Of Keep It U Give Me So Much Chisuk Keep It UP!September 5, 2010 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #708767
is anyone nervous for yom kippur? i am scared thinking about it dont know if i’m gonna be able to fast!!!!September 6, 2010 1:29 am at 1:29 am #708768
You bet I am. I’m not scared of the fast but rather of the big day and what awaits me the coming year.I hope that this coming year will be only good with all refuas for klak yisroel and meshiach should come even sooner so that we shouldnt have to worry.
THank you Mosh3 for bringing up this thread again. I started it when I really needed chizuk for someone close to me. It was good to read it again since I can still use it.
I cannot say this cholehs name in public but you can say tehilim for klal yisroel which will ofcourse include this person and will IY”H have a complete refuah.September 6, 2010 2:58 am at 2:58 am #708769
Where is Estherh? We’re missing her around her. Anybody know her Matzav? I really hope she’s doing ok because we haven’t heard from her in a while.September 6, 2010 3:32 am at 3:32 am #708770
Unfortunately, it is true that when people going through any test in life be it illness or death, too many people do not know how to react so they avoid. They will cross the street if they see you or ignore you. Others will give you so much advice like they were the expert of all.
I myself was tested this year and decided to keep my diagnosis quiet and just among my closest family. Once i was given a clean bill of health i did tell others. Perhaps if you saw me you may have had an inkling that something was amiss. If someone asks many questions i would nicely say that if they will write down the questions i may answer them.
Sloan Kettering is a research hospital and is not one that is recommended for adults. Adults there are just a number not a human.
If caught in the early stages, cancer is cureable just as any other illness. Any illness diagnosed in a delayed stage can be fatal.
Also people can go for more than one opinion.
In regard to fasting, one should ask a dayan who will probably tell them not to fast.
Remember in Unesaneh Tokef we say and know that Hashem decrees who shall live and who not.
Too many oncologists are too conventional and won’t let you take vitamins or supplements.
I used a private oncologist who was very supportive of supplements such as Essaic Tea, COQ10, vitamins B and E and also vitamin C in powdered form.
Chesed of New Square has freshly squeezed pomegranate juice that they will deliver for free and ask for but a small donation.
All this will help your immune system and give you energy.
After just eight 3.5 hour treatments my pet scan was clean B”H.September 6, 2010 4:01 am at 4:01 am #708771
Rabbosai, while davening is essential, I feel that in some ways, we could be doing more for cancer patients than we currently do.
The biggest problem in cancer, is that science really does not understand it fully. Some of the most basic things about the disease are not understood. Why do cells go off and reproduce out of control? What factors cause this? How do we target only the bad cells, and leave the good ones alone?
There is a need for much more research. One must realize that many oncologists are merely doing a fixed set of protocols that they have been taught. But the key in eradicating the disease is in identifying and understanding the molecules that are responsible. This requires research. I don’t see that many frum yidden considering research as a career. All advances come from basic research in labs, not from the doctor. He only does what the scientists and FDA have decided is the most effective treatment at the current time. (It is true that there are oncologists who are also researchers, and both see patients and work in labs.)
To say Sloan is bad because it is a research institution is not good advice. In the medical community, it is well-accepted that the best doctors and the best treatments usually are found at research and teaching hospitals. Sloan does a lot to make a patient comfortable, and is extremely well-organized.
To do research requires going to good schools and studying science on a deep level. One needs a good foundation for this. Yeshiva high schools need to fortify their science and math departments, and not suffice with merely being yotzei the minimum requirements. This really is pikuach nefesh, and I can think of no greater chesed than working towards finding cures for people who are suffering.September 6, 2010 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #708772
I just want to clarify, that despite gaps in our knowledge, we have come a long way and that survival rates are much better than in the past. I didn’t want to scare anybody C”V with my previous post, that was not my intention. There is much room for optimism, and with the RBSH’s help, hopefully nobody will ever have to suffer ever again.
I also wanted to clarify that while Sloan Kettering does give everybody a number, and it is on all their records and printouts, it is to make sure that all one’s lab tests are not mixed up with anybody else. They barcode every vial, I believe, with one’s name, birthdate and patient ID. They constantly ask one’s birthday to double check. The number was never meant to dehumanize anybody.September 6, 2010 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #708773syllogistMember
You are doing a gross disservice to anyone who takes your post seriously.
Sloan Kettering is one of the leading cancer centers in the world. Countless frum people are alive today simply due to their good fortune of living in the vicinity of a world-class cancer center.
If conventional treatment is what you’re trying to avoid, a research hospital is your best bet for clinical trials and experimental treatments. You can’t get those anywhere else.
Using vitamins and other supplements during cancer treatment is not recommended without your oncologist’s knowledge and approval. Boosting your immune system (if that’s what these supplements actually do) will actually work in against most cancer therapies. Chemotherapy’s goal is to kill cancer cells. Boosting their defenses in not advisable.
Your contention that you’re merely a number there is disingenuous in the extreme. Did doctors and nurses not address you by name? Did they call you by your number? They did? So what?
I’d rather live as a number than die with my name on the lips of a vitamin-wielding charlatan.September 6, 2010 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #708774HealthParticipant
Sloan has an ad saying those who come to their facility first, do better than anywhere else. US world news has listed them the best cancer center for years and years. I don’t know if it was listed this year, but it’s still one of the best. Only in certain situations do I recommend other places, but most of the time the place to go is Sloan.September 8, 2010 3:15 am at 3:15 am #708775
what is the difference which hospital you go to as look as they do the job and get rid of the cancer. i went to nyu cause i had cancer in the brain and the leading neurosurgeon was dr kelly who was a malach and was unbelievable. but the main thing is we know that hashem is the one in charge and HE is the one who takes care of us!!!! i want to wish everyone a gut gebenched yur and may we only hear good tidings and please this year we should be zoche to beyas goel bmehara!!!!!September 8, 2010 8:41 am at 8:41 am #708776
How did a thread of Chizuk get caught up on minor details? (And details which likely, most people will not follow since they come from anonymous people online). Don’t forget who the Doctor really is!
Hello Kitty, keep a positive outlook. Not only will it be good as an extra to help keep your Emunah in check, but it will keep you calmer in general which is a big deal in itself. I have heard that the Shechina rests near a choleh. The Shechina!! Daven and daven more, it will only help. May Hashem bentch all cholim with a complete Refuah, and many Simchos to dance at!
P.S. there are other Chizuk-related threads in the CR.
K’siva V’chasima Tova!September 8, 2010 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #708777
THank you kapusta for your kind words. May this new year bring a year of refuahs to all of Klal Yisroel.September 12, 2010 5:57 am at 5:57 am #708778
i hope every one had a good rosh hashana. now comes the scary day , yom kippur. the reason i fear that day is because hashem makes his final decision on that day and its scary. a few years ago i never even thought about it just that hopefully HE will give me a good year with enough parnassa, and help me with my special needs children but then when i got hit with my cancer oh boy was that a different story. now i dont take anything for granted and try my hardest to do the right things but at times its hard and when people say nasty things ( i know they dont mean it ) its very hard to keep quiet and not retort something in return. just recently someone pretty important told me that i should try to work on my memory (that what got affected by the cancer-one of the many things that did) and slowly my memory will come back. i was very hurt and tried to explain that i first of all am not interested in getting a heart attack or nervous breakdown in trying to work my brain- what a load of hogwash i mean really i dont have the right side of my brain the surgeon removed all of it ITS HOLLOW DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND!!!!! so instead of stressing myself and getting sick i called my social worker from the dept of health and asked him to explain that that would be immpossible. i just dont understand why people are so so so mean and “Helpful”September 12, 2010 7:31 am at 7:31 am #708779
Mosh3- it seems like you are going through very hard days. May Hashem give you strength and a healthy year with kol tuv.
And thank you for helping all of us CR readers(I hope) appreciate each day that we are healthy and strong!
Gmar Chasima Tova!September 12, 2010 11:13 am at 11:13 am #708780minyan galMember
Moshe: You have had a very hard year. May Hashem bring nothing but sweetness and improved health this year. Don’t concern yourself with the unwanted and unsolicited advice of others. Sometimes it is offered without adequate forethought but not with any malice. Hopefully things will improve quickly for you. Incidentally, even without you doing anything, the left side of your brain will begin to make new pathways and take over a lot of what the right side used to do – another miracle of the human body.September 12, 2010 12:47 pm at 12:47 pm #708781
yes i know that my left side of the brain will make up for the deficits that i have minyan gal i just wish people would not think and say that i will regain my memory, its not gonna happen and so what i dont care. its alright that i dont have any memory left and everything needs to be written down i really dont mind it at all!!!! my kids know that i have to write everything down and my husband reminds me of important things. the truth is it could of been much worse , the doctor said i might lose my sight hearing and balance, never walk again and boruch hashem that did not happen!!!! thanx for all the advice and i try to stay away from “well meaning” people but when i must be with them for example in college my teachers well some of them are truly “NOT UNDERSTANDING” and so i grit my teeth and try to ignore them and not let it hurt me.September 12, 2010 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm #708782minyan galMember
Mosh: I think that you are amazing. You have really overcome a lot of adversity and done it very well. You have a good understanding of your condition. I had many years of illness and quickly learned that you must develop a thick skin. Well meaning people (many of them, foolish) will overwhelm you with advice. The only thing that is truly important is how you and your family are doing and from what you report, you are doing well and adapting. Just remember that your family are the important people in your life. Keep on doing what you are doing!! (I hope that I don’t sound like one of the well meaning fools that I mentioned)September 12, 2010 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #708783
na its okay minyan gal i know you really mean it and thanx for your kind words, truly appreciate it!!! and you are so right about developing a thick skin its just unfortunate that we have to suffer needlessly, i think we suffered enough!!!!September 12, 2010 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #708784
Mosh: It is pretty clear to me (to me, the little person that I am) that Hashem obviously thinks very highly of you, and maybe has people give you comments that seem to be hurtful, nasty and downright annoying just to keep up a more solid connection. Don’t let them get to you. And don’t lose sight of what you were given. Hashem didn’t give your life to someone else, He chose you for a reason.
I once heard something which fits in well here. Always play the “stupid and smiley” game. If anyone says something, just do a “yes, yes, very nice, blah blah” kind of thing. Don’t put anyone off, or treat them disrespectfully, but in your head have a running chant going. (Maybe even turn it into a bit of a game like “don’t get mrs. annoying acquaintance get to you”)
G’mar Chasima Tova!September 13, 2010 12:20 am at 12:20 am #708785
you are too funny kapusta, cute words and oh so true!!!!September 13, 2010 12:24 am at 12:24 am #708786Sister BearMember
A relative of mine got cancer a few years ago and was given a 4% chance to live. They weren’t even sure if they were going to do chemo since they didn’t want him to die painfully. But never give up hope. He is Baruch Hashem still alive today and has gone into remission a few times already.
May this year be a year of good health to everyone!September 13, 2010 1:23 am at 1:23 am #708787
Mosh, you have an amazing story, and it is unbelievable that you are able to write about it. Imagine such a serious operation leaving you able to function so well. It is literally a nes. May Hashem continue to watch over you and your family.September 13, 2010 2:57 am at 2:57 am #708788
thank you pashuteh yid you know you guys or gals are treally nice and have such kind words of chizuk i only wish we could actually meet in person cause gosh you people are nicer than my friends!!! i really do have a good sense of humor why just the other day my oncologist asked me ( he is not frum) why i am so happy cause i have so many terrible things happening and i told him well if he lets i can sit in his office and sob but he better have good food, drinks and something interesting to read cause if he is giving me the right i am gonna stay a long time. then he asked me to raise my neck cause he was doing a procedure to block some nerves in my neck and shoulder. he said it might be uncomfortable i told go right ahead but make sure not to cut my jugular otherwise i might ask to take over my job for me. he then told me its good i got a good sense of humor and he is happy to see me like this. the truth is is it worth to sit and cry all the time ? will the cancer or any other problem go away? NO OF COURSE NOT so all we gotta do is daven and ask hashem to help us!!!!September 13, 2010 3:42 am at 3:42 am #708789
Mosh3- this just comes to show that your friends really do mean well.
When writing, it’s a lot easier to concentrate on every word than when you talk. So it’s easier to say nicer things when writing. People you talk to, probably say rude things out of desparation, because they are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. But they really are nice people.September 13, 2010 3:53 am at 3:53 am #708790
he then told me its good i got a good sense of humor and he is happy to see me like this. the truth is is it worth to sit and cry all the time ? will the cancer or any other problem go away? NO OF COURSE NOT so all we gotta do is daven and ask hashem to help us!!!!
Very true. Every person makes a decision to be depressed about their life or not (this goes for the people with “easy” lives and the ones with “hard” lives). When people spend the bulk of their time depressed, they often don’t realize they are really making themselves depressed.September 13, 2010 4:17 am at 4:17 am #708791
Mosh3, wow I wish I can have your attitude.Keep it up, it will take you far in life!!About being nervous for Yom Kippur, I really understand you. I never davened so much Rosh Hashana like this year.May hashem answer all our tefillos and send us a happy & HEALTHY year.September 13, 2010 11:16 am at 11:16 am #708792
i just wanted to let people know bikur cholim on 11 ave is having a cancer survivor chizuk gathering for ladies on tuesday at 11:00 in the bikur cholim building. if anyone is interested its free and they have refreshments, this time is supposed to be great but unfortunatly i cant come my professor in college is making me take a final and wont do it another day!!!September 15, 2010 4:33 am at 4:33 am #708793
Another person I am very close with was diagnosed this week. I am down….September 15, 2010 5:18 am at 5:18 am #708794eclipseMember
My mother was told she had 2 weeks to live–but that the test results would be ready in 4 weeks!!Anyway,we undertook tznius, tefilah, and shmiras haloshon with a passion…and had our dear mother for almost a year…i do remember my mother asking for us to daven that no matter the pain,etc.she should never lose her ahavas hashem.i admire all of you going thru it…surviving and yet still enduring the many littler tzaros that follow(ex.insensitive comments,loss of memory,etc.)MAY HASHEM SHOWER ONLY HAPPINESS AND GOOD HEALTH UPON YOU…IT’S A NEW YEAR..ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.September 19, 2010 7:16 am at 7:16 am #708795
Boy this thread was well hidden… Been searching for it since it fell off the main page.
Hello Kitty: Hashem just wants more davening from you. Before a person is given a tzara, all the people who will possible be affected by it (that means even someone who is forwarded the name in a text) are taken into account. If a second person was diagnosed, just means to daven, daven, daven, and daven some more. Remember, Hashem doesn’t care the least bit about statistics. Or what doctors say.September 19, 2010 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #708796
Thanks Kapusta, Thats what I am trying to do. I cant do anything else anyway.September 19, 2010 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #708797Be HappyParticipant
As a fighter, I beg you: to stop smoking and help your friends and family to stop smoking.
Also: Go to your screening tests. So many of us think, I’m too busy or there is nothing wrong with me….Mine was diagnosed through screening I had no obvious signs or any inkling that something may be wrong.
Kitty: Don’t be down make a determined effort to help those going through this illness. We don’t need a lot. One of the things I value the most is a daily phonecall from a friend.
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