Moq, do you know what “working with the school” means? If you complain to a school they tell you to take your kid out!!!
Now lets get a little more serious. Do you see how everyone defends the schools and the system? This is how molesters get away with abusing children. The schools can’t be wrong! The Rebbeim can’t be wrong…….the system can’t be wrong. WE should believe them, WE should trust them, WE should support them.
Well WE have tried for years and it hasn’t worked. THEY have gotten more ridiculous and more out of control with THEIR demands. AND NO, we can’t allow it to go further and keep supporting their nonsense. AND yes I believe yiddishe momma because they act first and ask questions later if they ask questions at all because they don’t want to know the truth they would rather listen to the loshan horah of all the other parents who claim THAT child is a bad influence on MY child. AND yes I know this for a fact after advocating for many students.
But as I said before, the yeshivas themselves have an achrius to EVERY child and THEY should have caught the child before it got to the point where THEY could label them bad and a bad influence. WHY didn’t they catch them earlier? Why are the other parents blaming the child and not the yeshiva? Why should the child have to go elsewhere instead of the Yeshiva addressing the child’s needs and making sure that other children don’t go down that path as well. Why should that poor child be the korban because the school neglected to address the child’s needs and issues.
AND why oh why do YOU ALL keep labeling these children “bad” as if they were killers and rapists? Are they “bad” because they speak to the other gender? They are “bad” because they listen to english music? That makes them worthy of being kicked out and shoved off the derech? Where is YOUR Yiddishkeit? Where is YOUR ben odam l’chaveiroh? You would strip these kids of Torah and Mitzvos rather than work with them?
If you want to protect YOUR angels from these children then volunteer to work with children who have issues. Maybe they have a sick parent at home or maybe they lost a parent. Maybe they have a dysfunctional home where there is no shalom bayis, or maybe their father lost his job and there is no income and there is a lot of stress. Maybe the Rebbe makes fun of him or he just can’t chap the math and they can’t afford a tutor so everyone picks on him and makes him feel stupid. Did any of you ever think of the underlying pain these children carry that make them “bad”???????? Do you ever wonder why regular normal kids turn sour?
Honestly, they are carrying a baggage load of pain with them. Maybe try to open your eyes and realize that and be grateful its not YOUR kid. Then do something to help them rather than help to destroy them.
And finally, there are just so many men who can sit in Kolel for x amount of years and be supported by the community. That’s how it was done in past generations. After x amount of years a married man with x amount of children would give up his seat to a younger man and go out to make parnasah for his mishpacha and in that way, he managed to afford schar limud and other necessities. It is only in the past two generations where the seichel went sour and EVERYONE was pushed into staying in kolel so no one can afford to pay tuition or support yeshivas. So who exactly is supposed to do it? Grandparents are not only supporting themselves but are paying rent and food plus insurance for their kids that are learning and for those who are not and can’t afford it. So do you expect grandparents to pay tuition, rent, food, and insurance for children and grandchildren? How many families do you think one set of parents can support? How many tuitions can one family afford? How many children should one family have?
Of course there will always be kollelim and always should be, but that doesn’t mean that every yeshiva bochur has to be in kolel, nor does every kolel yungerman have to be there for 10 years, nor does it mean that every kolel man who has children should expect the Olam to support his family. There comes a time when a man has to be mepharnes his own family. Or there comes a time where the Rosh kolel has to determine which are the mitzuyanim and should stay on for the community to support and which should get up and support their families. If a kolel man does not have an agreement of support with another person it is just not fair to expect Hashem to handle it for him, because as we can see, the schools are complaining that people are not paying the tuition and the tuition is so high because people are not paying the tuition so it is raised so those who can afford to pay, pays more. It has been spiraling out of control and it is now collapsing onto itself.
As far as sending kids to a school who’s hashkafus are geared to the family. It does start out that way. But many, many schools keep moving more and more to the right to outdo the next school. The rules get tougher and tougher in mid stream because they want to be more BY than BY or be more mehudar than the most mehudar so they keep raising the bar until the kids are choking from the pressure.