My philosophy: Kids have two feet one of each are planted firmly in the two most important areas in their lives the home and the school. Together this makes the foundation the child builds on to become a healthy and successful human being. If a crack develops in the footing of either foundation his entire being starts to crumble and fall. During the growth, education and maturing processes he may lean more strongly on one foundation or another, but as I said if either one develops a crack or becomes unstable, the child’s entire future is at stake.
If you are lucky enough to sit behind your picket fence and not as yet have been challenged or tested by the Eibeshter don’t be so quick to throw stones. You really don’t understand the flip side of the coin. You have not as yet gotten your hands dirty, you have not as yet seen the reality of the system, you are babes in the woods. You have not been touched by the ugliness of the truth. But c”v and I say this with all my heart, you should never know the ugliness of the truth, if you ever do get your hands dirty either by those closest to you or by means of a friend’s child, neighbor’s or relative’s then you will understand better what we are talking about.
We had a young girl in the neighborhood. She had just barely entered her teenage years. She was caught in town sitting in mixed company at the Pizza store. The yentas in town couldn’t wait to run back to the school and spill the beans. The “school” decided that she was no longer “x material” and it would be best for “HER” to go to a certain out of town yeshiva. This was decided by Rebetzin”x” the guidance counselor. Well that decision led to her downfall. Not only did she turn OTD and a drug addict, she went completely dark. From pink and bright she went black and dark. From smiles and bitachon she went cynical soulless. She was only 14! She lived on the streets with no one to turn to.
The mixed company she was speaking to at the Pizza shop showed her compassion and gave her an attentive ear to listen to her tzores since her mom died. Her school DID NOT give her the compassion nor the attention she needed neither since her mother died nor while she was on death watch. Neither the mechanchim, the administration, nor the students surrounded her with the love and support she needed. Not one teacher invited her home for shabbos, took her out to dinner or thought of a way to give her a break from her pain. NOT one asked her how she was doing or what they could do to help. She didn’t want to unload on her father or siblings because they too were in tremendous pain. So instead of allowing her the sin of unloading on this group of mixed company, they took a normal young sweet girl in pain and threw her to the wolves. They shoved her off the derech and they took every ounce of emunah and bitachon that she clung to away from her. And that’s not all. She is now B”H in her twenties but that is only by the grace of G-d. We almost lost her at least 10 times that I know of over the years to overdoses. She has been used and abused and the achrius belongs to the school and the Rebbetzin who was so quick to throw her out because she spoke to boys.
She is OK now, if you can call it that no thanks to anyone connected to this neighborhood. She doesn’t live here. She is connected to Hashem in her own way at this point and she is alive, B”H. She is a work in progress and as far as I know she is working very hard to fight off her demons and stay away from substances. But basically, her childhood was torn from her. Her relationships with her family was torn away from her. Her life as it should have been was torn away from her. Her health was torn away from her. She was just a kid, a yesoma without a mother who was in NEED of compassion and attention. Where were THEY? Why couldn’t THEY step up to the plate and do THEIR job? Why did they sacrifice this child? There is no excuse for this tragedy, NONE at all. There is NO MARGIN FOR ERRORS when it comes to the welfare of children.
And that is why I will fight tooth and nail for these kids YOU keep labeling “bad”. Because YOU have no hasagah of what you are talking about.