What we can learn from ALL these posts is that we can’t make blanket statements and that ALL cases need to be dealt with on an individual basis. Even though there are rules and even though the rules were put there for a reason.
WIY, as a kid, you should not have shouldered the responsibility of such a situation, however YOU should have been taught WHAT to do in such a situation and NO maybe it was not YOUR responsibility to go to the hanhalah but maybe it was YOUR responsibility to discuss this with your shul RAV and ask a hypothetical question such as “Rebbe, what should a bochur do if they are worried about their friend who is displaying inapproriate behavior like showing other kids inapproriate magazines?” That RAV should have guided you. Maybe he would have spoken to your friend. Maybe he could have reached out to him and helped him. Maybe he could have advised him that he would be kicked out of school if he continued doing what he was doing or that he himself would speak to his parents and menahel without ratting you out. That is what kids are supposed to do, hand over their issues to an adult and obviously the boy in question also did not know how to do that.
So this is one thing we need to understand KIDS do not get involved in dark issues for no reason. They don’t change from innocents into know it alls without cause. The schools have a responsibility to NOTICE this.
In answer to msseeker, no she did not hide her pain nor was she a baalas gaivah, and she didn’t want to burden her family with more pain because she felt they were already carrying more than their fair share. She innocently (truly) just vented to kids who cared enough to listen and that was both boys and girls who meant no harm, they just cared.
B”H to the Monsey BY principal and all those like her who understand that a yiddish neshoma is just that no matter what they are doing, they are Hashem’s children and they are worth the effort!
I am in no way saying to allow any child to do whatever they want and to hurt another child whether emotionally, physically or academically. But accomodations can be made without throwing a child out. Schools can ask for volunteers in the community to come and help out with kids at risk. You would be surprised at the many volunteers, parents, mechanchim, and social workers, etc. who have experience in the field either because of work experience or because they have already been there done that and weathered the storm. There are many people who are willing to save another yiddishe neshoma and see them succeed.
There are many mechanchim in one’s own yeshiva who are better suited to speak to and deal with kids in pain. Kids don’t necessarily open up to just anyone, but kids will open up to those they feel truly care and they feel they can trust. And if all else fails, then and only then should other accomodations be made for them. But Yeshivas cannot say THEY have no achrius to these kids that they helped to raise.