I have learned the hard way through life experience to be FIRM but Polite. You must never ever be intimidated by anyone. Anytime.Never live your life for others.
Why do you have to dread anything? You have not done anything wrong, except to use your entitlement of better judgment in shidduchim for your kid. If anyone is doing anything that they may later on dread or regret when bumping into you, it should be that neighbor who wants to redt the shidduch, cause what right does she have to go calling up the grandparents??? Excuse me?
They have already married off their kids.
And what about being pushy? Doesnt that call for being embarassed in hindsight?
I am so dumbfounded by the lack of mentchlichkeit, honesty, integrity and a whole other long list of words that sum up the qualities I have found in shadchanim because of their need to make a few $$. You wouldnt believe some of the garbage I have had to put up with. Like for example, i have a shidduch redt to me for my daughter and they start out saying he is a such and such type of chasid and then as I kindly explain that its not for us, as we are of such and such a breed, she later on changes what Rebbe he holds by and that “oh in fact he is a suchandsuch chasid actually”. Oh please! I called my sources and verified he isn’t by the way. They should not lie.
Never be intimidated. As long as you are always firm but polite you will not regret your actions or words. Just kindly say, thank you very much but we are not interested in this at this time. For example
Parent of kid in parshah” No…… we are not interested.
Shadchan: Blah blah blah
Parent of kid in the parshah: Thank you very much for your call and for the thought, but we are not interested.
(repetition does get through to those who try to wear you down)
Shadchan: But he’s a good catch, a talmid, true? true!
Parent of kid in the parshah: Mmmm hummm. I see. Well, thats’ nice but we aren’t listening. Thank you.