Lawgirl – You’ve won your case, that’s for certain. And the gap only gets wider; while we hope you file for a marriage license soon – in two year (one?) you’ll be an associate at…oh, ENY or something and then what?
As you said, the gap only widens. Then what?
The only thing I can tell you is that men often thrive after marriage; frankly, as I said before, girls do better then men in their single years. Perhaps seeing a guy’s potential may be worthwhile. Healthy marriages energize men, and they often accomplish far more then they do in their single years, with someone relying on them. But yes, it is absolutely essential to marry some you genuine respect.
And some guys do indeed seek intellectual equals (or better). I did back in the day. Shadchanim redt me “the strange” girls (do you know what it is like to take a chemist to a chinese restaurant?) My friends though, weren’t interested.
I would like to tell myself that it has something to with self-confidence and self-image, but I honestly think it has to do with their image of the ideal feminine (flighty, ditzy, oh so cute) & type of marriage they want. In other words, not better or worse. Just different. B”H my story ended well.
Hatzlacha!