Sacrilege, you wrote,
“boys go away to Yeshiva at a young age and learn from Rabbeim and take on the Minhagim of the Yeshiva they belong to. There is nothing wrong with this.”
No, there is something VERY wrong with this. Kvod Av requires us to follow in the derech of our fathers. Including minhagim.
RSRH wrote:
“What happened to establishing and following the minhag hamakom, or the minhag of the kehilla to which you belong? “
That was destroyed in America in the early 19th century. The first five Jewish communities here all followed the Western European Sefardic nusach. Even the Ashkenazic Jews followed it. But then the arrogance of the Ashkenazim caused them to want to break away from the established minhagim. Between 1797 and 1850 dozens of Ashkenazic shuls were established, each with whatever minhagim the organizers felt like establishing.
Every single one of those early Ashkenazic congregations either died out or became non-Orthodox. Every single one. Meanwhile, two of the old Sefardic congregations that preserved their minhagim have been operating continuously for over two centuries as Orthodox synagogues.
Judaism is not about “Doing what feels good.” Minhagim are important. Including family minhagim. Not as important as a d’oraita or a d’rabbanan, but we don’t change minhagim unless we have a really good reason.
Admittedly this is not so simple for BTs and gerim. But that is what rabbis are for, to help out in these things!