“Telegrok,
“When I say ‘lukewarm’ I mean relative to the fact that his first choice was the shidduch he was after to begin with.”
I understand – but, part of emotional maturity is letting go of the unattainable and moving on.
A young man should not be on the verge of marriage while he still wishes that he would be seeing a different girl under the chupah.
It is OK to say, “I would have preferred a girl who bakes better cakes,” or “I would have preferred a girl who can carry a tune.” But the proper approach is to recognize that his kallah burns toast, or sings like a dying frog, and to then say, “This is the person, with all of her quirks and faults, with whom I want to build a home.”
Not to stand there and glance backwards to see if #1 will burst through the door exclaiming, “I’m here!”