Aishes Chayil, No I did not forget, I would hope that HE did his histadlus when he agreed to go out with Choice #2. I would hope that he understood when he agreed to go out with choice #2, that we don’t always get what we want not because we don’t deserve it but because it is not want we NEED or what we are supposed to have. Hashem is in charge and HE runs the world. If he is so shallow that he doesn’t get that, or that he doesn’t see the amazing qualities in choice # 2 then he certainly doesn’t deserve her and she is better off without him although she will be terribly hurt at first. He will only see the error of his ways when choice #1 proves to him that he is not her choice #1. You see AC, there is no guarantee that what he wants will work out for him.
Everyone seems perfect on paper until you meet them in person. And everyone seems perfect from afar till you meet them up close. And just because YOU are pining for someone that doesn’t mean they are pining for you. So when YOUR bubble is burst what are you left with? The same hurt feelings and emotions that you caused the other party. And what to do you think happens when you get that date with the perfect shidduch? Her laugh can be really annoying, her parents can be very interfering, she might be very demanding or her parents might be. Things might not fall into place like in the fantasy, etc. So what is the point in chasing after choice #1. It is not a given that it works out. What exactly is the histadlus you are referring to. The Histadlus I am referring to and other posters here are referring to is that you put 100% commitment into the shidduch you are involved in at the moment and you don’t allow “ifs” and “if only’s” to enter the picture!