The main thing is to live a life of Emes. If you can be in Kolel and do it by totally honest means and by not being a tremendous burden on your parents – then Kol Hakavod! But if you have to do it by acting dishonest – then it defeats the point. Not getting married legally to stay on your parents insurance is dishonest. Having Hud pay your mortgage by buying a house in your mother in law’s name is dishonest. I personally don’t agree in govt programs for Kollel couples – but I won’t say it is dishonest if you actually are eligible for them. While I don’t think it is the responsibility of the US govt to pay for a Kollel life – I do very strongly disagree when people are dishonest. When I was first married and we were starting out in Kollel (where we stayed for 15 years) – we put our chassana money in a CD that was paying about 9%. When my husband told his chaveirim in Yeshiva about it – they all told him that they couldn’t do it because their chassana money was in other’s name so that they could get programs. That is wrong! So Emes is the main thing. Hashem does not want your Torah if you have to lie to live that life. And I can’t believe that He wants your parents to kill themselves to support you either. So if you can do it yourselves – go for it. But please remember – Dovid Hamelech – Sheperd, Mosheh Rabeinu – Sheperd, Yaakov Avinu – Sheperd. The Shevatim all worked – you can’t have a world where everybody is learning all day. Education is important. High School for Boys is important. College is important. Yes there are people who made it without it – but the Teva here is America is that college increases your chances of supporting your family in a Bakovodika and Honest manner.
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