Very eloquent, aposhitermaidel.
The issue as I see it is not learning or working. The issue is the nature of family life. It seems to me the kollel lifestyle is a major social experiment involving the husband, wife, children, and extending to the in-laws. Incidentally, elderly parents could hope that their children would help them out as they became older. These days, elderly parents are delaying retirement in order to continue supporting children well into adulthood.