Oomis, I’m deeply impressed by how much effort both you and your husband put into your relationship with your in-laws. However, as other posters have noted, sometimes even the greatest efforts on the part of the daughter-in-law will not result in a good relationship. My husband’s parents unfortunately criticized me to my face and behind my back to my husband. I endured it for my husband’s sake and because I felt it was good for my children to have a relationship with their paternal grandparents. We continued to visit with them for a week or more at a time (at their insistence) and to host them for similarly long visits.
When they decided to take their dislike for me out on my children, mocking my daughter to her face, I finally found the courage to limit their contact with myself and my children.