From the standpoint of the one going to the shadchan, you should absolutley pay the fee. Hopefuly and in all probability the shadchan will take on your case seriously, work hard on your behalf, return phone calls, etc. The fact is shadchanim are over worked and totaly underappreciated. They can work for HOURS stretched out over weeks to get a couple to go out just to get a “it’s not for me” (which by the way, is fine) my point is that its a lot of work without any certain payoff. Most shadchanim – as in the vast majority – are hard working, well meaning overtaxed people. Give them a break and pay the small fee. Or at least a token of appreciation when they do set you up. I did that consistently and it did wonders for my relationship with the shadchanim. As a matter of fact, I still keep in touch with a bunch of them!
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