AZ- the girl that I referred to was not married at that time…
No one likes to feel like a failure but when the shidduch comes through, you feel better than a million dollars. Knowing the zchus it is, knowing that their eternal happiness is because of you, knowing that their children forever and ever are learning torah and around because of you…
Application fees are not the same:
a) they are much cheaper- $60 sometimes
b) they weed out those who are applying to every seminary. When there are shidduchim involved, there is no weeding to be done because they ALL want a shidduch.
c) the school ect will be considering you. You get the interview. At least those girls I know of who applied to sem- everyone got an interview.
d)The fees pay for the plane ticket of the Rav to interview. You see where the money is going- to help the seminary and to pay for mailing the applications! Many seminaries have an American address and they pay to get it to E”Y… expensive!
Bottom line- you get something out of it when you deal with application fees. The shadchan has no reason or requirement to ever get back to you. I know plenty of girls and guys who went to shadchanim, met, and were either not given the time of day (basically the shadchan checked off boxes and didnt ever meet or talk to the person) or never heard back. when they called (and it was normal, waking hours) they were told “Oh, I am still thinking”. many times it was because they have binders of people and don’t have the time for each one. Yes, you might not know anyone who may be for me but why take my money before you met me?
Do you get a better chance at finding your beshert by paying money?