Suggestion to get things moving along. anytime it takes more than 2 weeks for a bachur, or his mother, to “look into” a shidduch they pay a small fee. This will discourage boys from creating their stupid “lists” and girls will go on dates. Our stupid system that requires everything to go through the boys side first creates a logjam where a boy is looking into 10 girls, while 10 girls wait around, sometimes for weeks, until tzadikil makes up his mind, then these other 9 go back into the “available” pool and onto the next heiliger list. The girl who gets perpetually stuck on lists for months at a time DOES feel desperate, its why they go to as many shadchanim as possible. The more lists you get onto the better the chance of getting a date. Pay all those shadchannim a fee when meeting them for the luck of getting onto a list is pouring salt onto a wound.
What I don’t understand is. You go to a shadchan, they meet with you, ask questions, hopefully take notes so that they have the answers ready when they need it. Yet, they suggest a shidduch, and everyone does their own independent research to learn much of the same information. If you don’t trust the shadchan, why use them? Are they viewed as access to people and nothing more? Sounds like the “system” is not just broken, but was developed by a sadist.