You wrote: “However I am sure that a non jew is not the same inside on a soul level, and fear that I am really communicating with a monster with a soft smile?”
I feel terrible for your friend and I also feel so ashamed that anyone could think this way, and moreover post this on a public website. A monster? Your childhood friend is a “monster with a soft smile” because you bought into some bigoted version of Judaism? Tell me which group mekareved you so I can steer my children far, far away.
The more I read of this YWN coffee room, the more disgusted I am with my coreligionists.