Are you saying you know that it comes from your brother-in-law because of the fact that they spend time with his family? That wouldn’t mean that he is deliberately pulling strings. Your sister might share his attitude. She might be trying (perhaps subconsciously) to get more and more swallowed into what she would call a typical family. When she feels more secure as a normal person, then she might finally be more comfortable coming around again. It may be him with a similar attitude. Do you try to arrange get togethers?
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