I don’t know who these meforshim are unless he is referring to commenters on blogs.
There is halachah pesukah about paying shadcahanim. Apparently, there is nothing wrong with a progessional shadchan.
I do not for a moment believe there are meforshim who talk about “forcing people to go out”. What a transparent load of bunk.
Professionals do a job that others are not willing to do or are not competent at. And no one forces you to use a professional shadchan, you don’t like, don’t use.
Do not make your own shortcomings a universal issue.