oomis1105 – you’re referring to the Malbim’s p’shat on v’ahavta l’reicha k’mocha. Fine. My point was ‘falling in love’ is not a Jewish concept.
Tzvi Hirsch wrote that love comes after babies. This too is not a Jewish concept. The Rambam’s chiyuv for a husband to love his wife comes from the second he places that ring on her finger. Of course, after 30 years of marriage their love is different than after 3 weeks – but he is m’chuyav to love her.
He must also love his wife before having children or they will be ba’alei p’gam – 9 middos.