you’re referring to the Malbim’s p’shat on v’ahavta l’reicha k’mocha.”
WOW! Really?????? What was his p’shat? I never learned it. This thought occurred to me as I was typing my reply.
“Real love takes time. Yaacov worked on himself before he met Rachel for 14 years, learning from Ever. “
Based on that type of thinking, then perhaps our bochurim should not be looking to get married so young, before they have had a chance to work on themselves for 14 years from the time they become Bar-Mitzvah. Yaakov left the Yeshivah of Ever, earned a parnassah and married his wives. (I am sure he learned in his spare time).
Maasei Avos, etc. etc….