I grew up in a kiruv home and my parents did not compromise our standards nor did we ever dream of being like the people who ate by us, who lived with us… (and no we are not Chabad)
I would say it depends on your kids ages and the age of the girl. You could set standards inside your own home and tell the girl that she has to abide (obvious they should be reasonable).
You can explain to your kids that there are different strokes for different folks.
Ask a rav who knows you and your family!!!