I debate it as a Frum Jew because we are held to a higher standard in everything. I find it rather interesting that very Frum Yeshiva boys will only date a “size 2 attractive girl” and they will go and twist words of gemorah to back up their human desires, but C”V to go out to eat or wear a blue shirt.
Im not denying that you have to be attracted to your spouse, then again I dont think that it has to be a KO within the first 5 seconds or its game over.