Referring to the OP:
This is one for your Rav. There’s the matter of halacha and then there’s the matter of diplomacy. What should you do? How should you explain whatever you do to your friend if it needs explaining?
Talk through the halalchic problems with him, if there are any, and then together explore ways of handling the human angle. It could be some of the most important factors couldn’t be posted here because of lashon hara considerations. Or the rebbitzen could help with the human angle while asking the halachic questions of her husband, so that you don’t have to reveal any names directly to the Rav.