New2thescene, the problem is that if a parent decides at date 3 to check the other side gets nervous, when all the parent wants to do is spare the kids heartbreak (and saving money isn’t inconsequential either, though very secondary). So there has to be an understanding among those who don’t check first (say the guy’s in town for a chasuna, or to see someone else, it didn’t work out but he still has an extra day) that no one will freak out if someone brings up DY.
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