BPT, how very lovely, all your imagine scenes.
Now what if you were not that nuts over the guy or girl in the first place, and you have a child who has severe physical handicaps, husband is out of work for 2 years with no end in sight, one spouse develops severe physical or mental issues, widening Hashkafic differences, spiraling cost of living, flared temper/s, a woman who cant tell the difference between clean and dirty with original ideas on what tasty foods are, and a mother in law who wants to blame everything on the other side, or maybe two such mothers in law, imagine that or worse.
Not that lovely.
The not so strong foundation, much more quickly crumbles.
All of a sudden all the things the single might have spent many years searching and dreaming for in a spouse amount to nothing because most importantly, they needed Midos, flexibility and maturity!