“you make it sound like marriage is all about money and managing your own house.”
Smartcookie – Sorry, thats not what I meant to say. What I meant is, its all about working towards a common goal, and one that you acheive by workng side-by-side, as opposed to getting things handed to you. As far as fear of the unknown, that we face each day. If we let that be an obstacle, we’d never learn / acheive anything.
Is every match as rosy as I painted? No, of course not. CAN every match be that good? You won’t know till you try.
OfCourse –
There is no denying the senario you note is a very real possibility. But consider this: most times, each partner has done a fine job of managing to navigate the very tricky business of making and keeping friends trhu the school / early work years. There is no reason they cannot apply those skills to buliding their marraige.
Some of the items you listed are beyond the scope of a CR post. Handicapped children (r’l) or spouses that suffer a breakdown can derail the best marraige. These things can and sometimes happen. And in case like that, one needs rachamei shomayim. Still, scary as those senarios are, they are the exceptions, not the rule.
The problems you noted about mother-in-laws mixing in as very real. But to a great extent, this is when the mother-in-laws are footing the bill for the day to day of the newlywed couple.
This can be avoided, with a little planning. Does that mean you push your in-laws under a bus? No. But with a little sense of self-sufficency on the part of the new couple, they will earn the respect and privacy they need to build their own life