Here is the thing about relationships and Jewish Marriage. The goyim have it wrong. Marriage is NOT a 50/50 proposition. Jewish Marriage is a 100/100 percent proposition. If you give only 50 percent you are missing 50 percent and always waiting for the other 50. You never know if you gave what was needed and you are always waiting for what was missing. On the other hand when each partner GIVES 100% each partner gets 100% so each partner should always be happy and satisfied both from giving and getting what they need. The more you give the more you get in such a relationship because the relationship keeps building.
The question as posted was if one party seems to be “giving in” unproportionately. Why is that a problem, things even out in the end? The issue really is whether or not each party is WILLING to compromise and cares enough to make changes to please the other and make them happy.
So for instance in regards to showering every day or night whichever the wife prefers. If it is important to the wife it should be important to the husband and the wife should not be the only one expected to make adjustments. If the husband enjoys long relaxing meals, then yes the wife should respect that and do her best to try and please him. Unless, she is the one working full time and just can’t accomplish that. In that case, HE would either have to help with the meal or understand that it is just not possible.
Other such issues that were brought up should be equally discussed and given equal importance whether it seems important to the other partner or not. If it is important to one partner it should be important to the other simply for that reason.
This is what I believe BP was talking about as well, that both partners work together to build the relationship and make it work. It should never be one sided. So Sac and all the other singles, if you feel during the dating process that only one of you are important in the relationship, you need to think about whether you want to continue or end it quickly. Because if it is already going sour before the wedding, there isn’t much hope for it to get better after the wedding.