Reply To: Yeshivish and Manners

From wikipedia:

“In sociology, manners are the unenforced standards of conduct which demonstrate that a person is proper, polite, and refined. They are like laws in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, other than social disapproval. They are a kind of norm.”

*I understand the difference between manners and middos. I’m just trying to make a distinction between the two.*

MDG – I agree with you about the disctintion between manners and middos. (In fact I actually typed the disctinction, but decided not to write it.)However, I think manners teaches that particular actions are wrong – don’t interupt, don’t cut the line etc, while middos teaches that certain CHARACTER TRAITS are wrong. For example, it is wrong to be a ba’al ga’avah – it might lead to cutting the line, interupting people, and lack of respect, because you think you are better than other so you can do these things. I think manners just say – don’t do this it’s not nice, while middos says – a Jew must behave differently than the non-jews – which involves working on negative character traits that lead to behaviors that are considered bad manners. I think it is easier to say “people don’t do that” rather than “work on this midda.”

ha ha ha – this particular situation was 5th grade BY girls

truth be told – I don’t think apple pie and fried chicken are societal norms. I also don’t understand why logic is necessary to make this particular point.