Reply To: Shadchan's opinion on lack of flexibility in Shidduchim.

You can’t marry someone expecting them to change but it is a good idea to go out with the person, discuss your concerns and see if the person is willing to try. Hashkafah is definitely important in shidduchim but i think the specifics of it are far far less important than the relationship itself. if someone is kind of on your track with hashkafah but you connect in terms of the relationship (caring, feelings, chemistry, etc..), the marriage is a much better idea than if you are exactly on track with Hashkafah but not so much on the other stuff. One caveat: what I say is true for those who date in a style where they are trying to build a relationship of some sort. if you date like beshow style or 4 dates and you’re engaged, this may not apply.