Women must know that they have an innate attractiveness to their husbands, and as long as they try to look nice and talk gently and supportively to him, he will love her 100 times back. However, if she ever gets into shlump mode or nag mode or whine mode, that will forever alter her husband’s view of her, and make all the magic go away. It is important for women not to mess up the gift Hashem gives to all women which is their feminine magic. Once they do, it is almost impossible to get it back. This is probably why Chazal stressed so much shelo tisganeh al baalah. They permitted many things so a woman should always be attractive to her husband.
The problem is that many women do not realize they have this gift to begin with, or take it for granted, and once they mess up it is too late.
I am not saying husbands don’t have plenty to work on themselves, but a woman must know that her primary role is serving and pleasing her husband. A man’s primary role is his learning and advancing his career and chinuch and providing for his family. If he is treated properly, he will return the favor many times over with boundless love and admiration for his wife (unless there is something seriously wrong with him).
Women also need to realize that their schoolgirl cattiness of this girl I like and this one is not good enough for me (or thing or brand or whatever) is a big turn-off for men, and men find it immature. Women must adjust to a man’s way of thinking. A good man is kind to all, regardless. He does not want to be involved with a woman’s emotional ups and downs. He wants steady seiver panim yafos, chesed and smile.