OK, now that lunch is done, let’s see what I came up with:
Making a true friend is very similar to defining a true friend. Once you’ve defined one, you can see how many you have, and go about getting new ones (you can never have too many friends)
I’ve always thought of three ways to measure a true friend, but a new one just came to mind, from an article I read by Rabbi Twersky.
1) A true friend is the one you call when you’re stranded on the highway at 2:00am and you know that he (or she, depending on who you are) will be ready to help or come get you, if that’s what it takes. You don’t have to wonder if you’re asking too much; you just know who to call, and help is there for you. It might be all you need is a sypathetic ear, but when you need someone, that’s who you call.
2) A true friend is one that you ask, “what’s wrong” before they ask for help. You don’t need to be asked; you can tell from their face / voice that they need to unload, and you telling them that you’re there for them is a sign of a true friend
3) A true friend is the one that, while / after getting help from them, you walk away with the feeling that YOU did THEM a favor (and not the other way around)
4) A true friend is someone who does not mislead you into thinking that you’ve acheived all you can, and thereby stunt your true potential. A true friend is supportive of your goals and aspirations, and helps you get to where you want to go. Be it ruchnius, gashmius, carrear, whatever. A real friend helps you go higher, and is happy for you when you reach your goals.
(This is from Rabbi Twersky’s article)
And if this sounds like a reciepe for a good spouse, its because all of the above is true of that arena as well. (just that you’re of opposite gender)