you DO have a choice. We have 2 newlywed children & during the past year they chose to come, or split up the days, or didn’t even come. no pressure/open invitation to all 4 of our children, their spouses, & their kiddies. that’s not to say that we didn’t want them to come, of course! my daughter & son-in-law come Shabbosim when they want, & tell us how pressured they feel by being ‘guilt-tripped’ into going to the in-laws.
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