I think this question touches upon some deep points. Many times “frumkeit” is used as a subconsious excuse to lack in basic Derech Eretz and social develpoment. The Satmar Rebbe said that “Kol machlokes Shei Leshem shomayim sofa lehiskayem” can be interpreted to mean that once each side thinks they are “Leshem Shamayim” there is no hope of ever having peace. If they would admit that it is bad middos, etc. there may be hope of getting to shalom because you know something is lacking. But if you think you are “fighting G-d’s fight”, you will never change because you think you are doing the greatest mitzvah! If not for some misconceptions about yidishkeit/frumkeit, people would be more aware of what is lacking in basing things like midos and friendships.
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