My favorite:
I was heading to the subway to get from Brooklyn to Manhattan and hadn’t learned the parsha yet so when I saw a woman I did not know with a carriage who could not get into a store, I offered to watch the baby, figuring that besides everything else I could learn a bit with the chumash I was carrying while I waited outside with the baby. It was cold which hardly bothered me – but when I offered to watch “for a few minutes” the baalas midois replied “Maybe you can watch for twenty minutes?”
I could not even reply, only because I don’t use mikveh dressing room Yiddish phrases in public.