“If you buy one daughter-in-law a 2 carat stone, you can’t cry poverty down the line. Keep in mind what you are doing when you start out. What you do for one you will have to do for the others.”
100% you can cry poverty!! what you did for one child has nothing to do with what you do for another. each child is different, and the circumstances in which you find yourself at the time will also be different. i dont advise going all out for the first child, but that doesnt mean that each child down the line will receive the same things.
my personal opinion is that THIS is part of the reason why young men and women expect things when they get engaged. “you have to do the same for each one” is not right at all. if you raise your chldren to think that they all get the same things, then of course they will expect and be disappointed when they dont receive.
do you treat all of your children the same way at home? some may need a little more of a tlc-type of chinuch, and one may need a little more of a hard line type, and one may be incredible self motivated. they dont lose their indivu=iduality when they get engaged, and each still has their own needs.
(sorry it was so long)