From what I read and heard at diff times, I think that the key to shalom bayis is
Let each other know what you need
Show appreciation to each other
They should focus on their Own resposibilities, so they each do what they need to do. And if one can’t that day, it’s okay because it’s Not a race who does more. Focus on your own task. Of course, if something is bothering you, calmly speak to your spouse.
Make time for each other, even just a moment alone at home.
If you’re upset when a spouse comes home, let them relax first for a while.
And in general, be supportive and appreciative