We have our own Friday night minhagim.
Every Friday night I say at least some, if not all, of the following things:
Walter, please put the book away.
George, please use a fork AND knife.
Wilma, spaghetti and meatballs are NOT for making faces on your plate.
No, Walter, you can’t have wine yet. Give it a few more years.
Wilma, napkins… they aren’t just for decoration.
George, I told you not to pour it so fast.
You see, Walter, there’s this thing called gravity…
Wilma, I don’t mind if you sing, but please… on key.
Walter, and please sing the same song!
George, that’s a good question.
Walter, agreed, the chances of the universe ending because you have a second piece of cake are less than 0.00000000000000000001%. But why risk it?
George, that’s a great question.
Yes, Walter, I know *precisely* how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood. It’s exactly 32.874 pounds of wood per day.
George, please lead the bentching.
Walter, you’re a great kid (yes, I can still call you a kid).
George, keep up the good work, we’re proud of you.
Wilma, I couldn’t imagine a better daughter.
The Wolf