Friday Night Minhagim

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    Looking for some help here….

    I once heard in a shiur that there is a minhag to kiss the hand of one’s mother after being bentched by one’s father before the seudah on Friday night. Has anyone ever heard of this or keep to this? Where is this brought down?



    I don’t know where it is brought down, but my ten year old

    son does that. It is very beautiful.


    At the very least, it’s like chicken soup for a cold…

    It may not have a real source,

    but it couldn’t hurt! 🙂


    oh i thought this was going to be about friday night cholent


    I was at the house of someone who practices Sfardic Minhagim and I think the mother kissed them after they got their Brocha. While on the topic of Friday night Minhagim do you stand or sit for Friday night Kiddush? I personally stand Friday night and sit Shabbos day.



    the Ari HaKadosh kissed his mother’s hand ??? ??? . He grew up a ???? ??? Do not remember source. I actually saw it when my father kissed his mother’s hand. He trained us to kiss Mother’s hand but not his. Why I never asked.


    I think a mom would prefer a kiss on the cheek 😮


    The Ari Hakadosh used to kiss his mother’s hand on Friday night.

    Aishes Chayil

    Yes, I’ve seen that.

    I’ve also seen the youngest child push the chair forward for the father to sit down after Kiddush.


    We have our own Friday night minhagim.

    Every Friday night I say at least some, if not all, of the following things:

    Walter, please put the book away.

    George, please use a fork AND knife.

    Wilma, spaghetti and meatballs are NOT for making faces on your plate.

    No, Walter, you can’t have wine yet. Give it a few more years.

    Wilma, napkins… they aren’t just for decoration.

    George, I told you not to pour it so fast.

    You see, Walter, there’s this thing called gravity…

    Wilma, I don’t mind if you sing, but please… on key.

    Walter, and please sing the same song!

    George, that’s a good question.

    Walter, agreed, the chances of the universe ending because you have a second piece of cake are less than 0.00000000000000000001%. But why risk it?

    George, that’s a great question.

    Yes, Walter, I know *precisely* how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood. It’s exactly 32.874 pounds of wood per day.

    George, please lead the bentching.

    Walter, you’re a great kid (yes, I can still call you a kid).

    George, keep up the good work, we’re proud of you.

    Wilma, I couldn’t imagine a better daughter.

    The Wolf


    The Yaivetz bshem the Arizal brings the minhag of kissing the mothers hand after coming home from shul al pi sod.

    I imagine some sefardishe sefarim would mention it too.

    Feif Un

    When I was young, we used to kiss my mother’s hand after she lit candles. Once I was old enough to go to shul, I wasn’t home when she lit, so I didn’t do it anymore.


    Yes it seems like a beautiful idea and I am sure my wife would love it.

    Hey Goq,

    This could also be about cholent…so does the olam have the Friday nt cholent with the meal, right after the meal, or later at night?


    It is not only a beautiful minhag it will instill a sense of respect for the mother


    Some German jews have a minhag that both the father and mother give the children a bracha on Friday night.

    not telling


    I assume your name stands for R’ Samson Rafael Hirsch?!

    And I’m guessing you’re a German Jew?



    Does your Shabbos meal come w a side of Advil?


    My Friday night minhag is to loosen my belt to make room for dessert. Ahhhh..oneg Shabbos.


    Wolf- LOL- that sounds like my home!! We can never train them enough!

    After I Bentch Licht, my kids ech give me a big kiss on the cheek. My siblings did this when my mother bentcht licht, and so did my husband’s siblings.

    I think it’s beautiful.




    Good stuff! Reminds me of MY Shabbas table…

    To the 2 year old grandchild: NO Chaim’el you don’t need the becher full to the very top like Saba.

    To the 29 year old son: Mendel, your little Eli is absolutely adorable, but does he have to be the centerpiece ON the table?

    To my dear ashet chayil: You really don’t have to give me “the look” because I…


    not telling:

    Yes it does.

    No I’m not. I’m an American Jew of German and Lithuanian extraction who tries to dutifully incorporate R. Hirsch’s approach to life into my own existence.

    always here

    when I had children at home, or now when they visit, one would open my hands up after lighting candles & kiss me.

    oiysh, I’m getting misty…


    it is assur to call your children wilma, george, or walter.


    always here

    hahahaha, Mod! 😀


    ???? ??”? ???? ??”? ?????? ?????

    “????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???”


    it is interesting to note, that the ??? ????? brings down a few other interesting halachas, one of them that the shabbos table should have specifically, 4 legs– not so common anymore with our extended tables!


    it is assur to call your children wilma, george, or walter.

    I’m confused. Did MR ask you to post that?

    In any event, those aren’t their names. In fact, my kids don’t have secular names at all (aside from their last names).

    The Wolf


    no he didnt post that (though he could have)

    i assumed those werent their actual names


    Friday night Cholent

    Reminds me of Reb Leib Apeldofer A”H the cook at BME in Monsey.

    R’ Leib after several Friday night raids decided to get even with the bachurim and put up an extra pot of cholent. And it became his standard practice. His love for a Ben Torah was unbelievable even though he was not much a ???? ??? himself. The ???? ????? with which he served the Rohei Yeshiva was unbelievable (he would never let a a Bachur do it)Somehow he smelled a good bachur, he always save some of his cholent for his favorites who were away for Shabbos


    Our shabbos minhagim are:

    Before eating something fattening we say “Shabbos calories don’t count!”

    Before saying something “chol” we say, “I know we can’t plan or talk business on shabbos but….”



    both my parents always bentched us on friday night. i’m not sure if they took the minhag from my yeki grandparents (mother’s side). however, my grandparents bentch their children & grandchildren 3 times -on friday night, shabbos day, and on motzei shabbos.

    my husbands family kisses their mothers hand on friday nights (chassidish background).

    i don’t know where all these minhagim come from, but they are all beautiful!

    always here

    haha, blinky! sounds familiar! 🙂


    Before eating something fattening we say “Shabbos calories don’t count!”

    I know you mean it as a joke, but in high school, a Rebbe publicly berated me in front of the entire class because my diet included Shabbos. He spent a good ten to fifteen minutes ranting about how Shabbos is not a time for dieting.

    And no, I did not listen to him. I continued to diet on Shabbos.

    The Wolf


    Mod 80- with all due respect, I don’t think your comment was nice. As weird as his posts are, you shouldn’t make fun like that.


    Mod80, I suspected that you were mosherose, remember?


    Wolf- you are right i was joking

    On Shabbos i don’t use the excuse of shabbos to binge. I can’t measure and weigh my food (obviously) but i try to do it generally. And yes, I would have dessert (but no shabbos party!). Good for you, you don’t go off.


    1. Both my wife and I bentch the children before Sholom Aleichem.

    2. never heard of kissing the mother’s hand.

    3. Friday night, we stand for Vayichulu and sit at the brocho (see Rokeach)(also see Minhagei Amsterdam to sit for kiddush at night)

    4. Morning sit for brocho

    5. Havdolo–stand for all

    6. Interestingly, on Yom Tov, at night, we stand for the brocho. why, I don’t know. My father also couldn’t figure out the contradiction.

    7. I like the comments from “the Wolf”–couldn’t happen in my house 😉



    Your shabbos must have an interesting tzurah if those are your minhagim.

    (Keeping in mind the kedusha of minhag Yisroel)


    Before starting to eat every individual course, my father says “likovod shabbos kodesh, shabbos shalom u’mivorach”


    We have the minhag to get into a family fight by the friday night meal. And to fall asleep before bentching. I once wanted to change it, but was told it’s dangerous to mess around with family minhagim.


    Before starting to eat every individual course, my father says “likovod shabbos kodesh, shabbos shalom u’mivorach”

    I like that. I may even adopt it. 🙂

    The Wolf


    our fri night minhagim are:

    fri night chulent at some point after meal

    no kiddush btwn 6-7(anyone else have that minhag?)

    make sure to be in PJs under the robe!

    oh and try to get the hubs to sing


    The Mogen Avrohom writes “tov lenashek jedei imo beleil shaboss- from hakavonos (presumably the ari) thanks for the source-feivi36.

    as for not making kiddush between six and seven- this is a minhag because that hour is under the influence of mazel adom (if my memory is correct) unless you are a chassidische rebbe, not many people adhere to it.


    Thank you very much Feivi.

    Just curious … I have seen some families sing shalom aleichim before sitting at the table while others are makpid in singing only by the table. I’ve also seen some stand while others sit. Any basis to this or just happenstance?


    the kids kiss the mothers hand after licht benchen,sit by kiddush friday night, and no cholent friday night,there is not enough for both days.


    “One should try very hard to get blessing from his father and mother, even when he is independent of them. By doing so, he fulfills the mitzvah of kibud av va’em. Similarly, in communities where it is common practice, it is a mitzvah to kiss their hand when he sees them, specially on Shabbat and Yom Tov” (Honoring Parents in Halachah. A practical guide. By Rabbi Tzuriel Ta’aseh)


    Yogi- we don’t make Kiddush between 6-7 2 either. But there’s a special Tefillah to say if you do want to make Kiddush in that hour.


    For those who don’t make kiddush between 6 and 7 — does it become between 7 and 8 when Daylight Savings Time is observed?

    The Wolf


    What is the minhag of not making kiddush between 6-7 all about?


    The minhag not to make kiddush between 6-7 is brought down in the Shulchan Aruch HaRav if I remember correctly. The reason is because during that hour on Friday night the mazal ‘madim (mars)’ has the greatest influence in the world. Mars is usually identified with bad things.

    Since the paths of the ?’ ????? ??? in the sky are not typically constrained by the decision of any government to abide by DST, I would say yes. The same would be true of ???? ??????.

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