Since everyone is so up in my business let me give you ALL a final answer.
THIS WAS discussed BEFORE the engagement. MY son-in-law knew about this before I met his parents and he told me his parents felt the same way. I discussed it with his parents when we met and THEY had the same shita. AGAIN WHY is this a problem for you? A shidduch was made for our daughter with a family that was similar to ours? Why is it so hard to believe that? That is usually what happens.
And DY, are you married yet? Do you know how your parents feel about this? Are you a parent yet? Are you holding near shidduchim? Do you dream about walking your children down to the chuppah? Maybe if you have 10 kids five of each, then it doesn’t matter to you because sometimes it might go one way and some the other. If you don’t care you don’t care. BUT MANY OF US DO care. WE have special feelings about this and if YOU can’t understand this there is nothing more I wish to say on the subject.
PBA, Is that what YOU do, lock YOUR daughter in the closet when she doesn’t comply with YOUR wishes? Pretty harsh wouldn’t you say?
ENOUGH SAID. DO WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO, THIS IS OUR MINHAG AND THIS IS WHAT WE DO! I don’t owe any of you an explanation. I tried to be polite about it but I am done.