WolfishMusings, I believe the stereotype comes because chasidish/yeshivish couples dont display effection in public. So pple think it is not there. Believe me, by the time such couples get behind closed doors, they are so excited to do what they cant just do 24 hours a day that there is something REALLY special about it. Secrets are special.
My mother never kissed my father in public, nor did I see love notes, (which now that I am married I am sure there were plenty of) but I KNEW they loved eachother. You felt it in mundane conversation, they NEVER argued in public, they respect eachothers opinion, my mother wakes up early to make my fathers favorite dishes, my father helps out a lot at home etc. all these little things mean a lot more to kids than seeing a love note. Actions speak LOUDER than words (and love notes, even if they are across your whole kitchen).
Wolf, I am sure you have both, you sound like a truly caring husaband, so this is not an arguement towards you, I am just speaking generally about my opinion of public personal relationships.