havesomeseichel: Agreed.
popa: So to understand your position, if she goes to court, instead of beis din, to decide custody based on secular law instead of Jewish law, you would support his decision to withhold the get until she complied with halacha, dropped the court case, and allowed halacha to decide the custody issues. Similarly with asset separation. If she went to court instead of beis din, because secular court will give her 50/50 instead of the halacha that she only gets assets she had before her marriage, you would take the same position on him withholding the get until she complied with halacha and she allowed beis din to decide the asset separation using halacha rather than the secular court using secular law.