Tznius is a lifestyle, not just a length of the skirt. I know you want chizuk in helping you pick the “more tznius” outfit, and of course the halochos are important, but I want to give you a different type of chizuk as well. So much time and effort is spent these days telling women the exact measurements their clothing should be, the colors they should and shouldn’t wear, and it can be very confusing for good, tznius girls who are made to feel guilty because the measurements of their clothing don’t meet a certain rabbi’s requirements. In this process, the concept of tznius is completely lost.
As another commenter said, it speaks in the Torah of Sara Imenu’s Tznius by saying she was in the tent, but do you ever see anywhere mention in the torah of the measurements of her clothing? In fact the laws of the measurements of a women’s clothing is not stated anywhere in the Torah. The proof of the Moavi women not coming to greet bnei yisroel not being a sin because women don’t venture out to greet strangers, this concept as well cannot be applied to the specific halochos of length of skirts and sleeves. People like to say that these days, it is not considered the “norm” for women to stay home, but then again neither is it the norm for women to wear long sleeves and skirts. So of course I am not advocating dressing non-tznius, nor am I at all advocating women staying home, but I am trying to show how this logic is very flawed and only used to make women feel guilty to not living up to Sara Imenu’s lesson of “hineh baohel.”
If you are having a personal struggle with tznius, I wish you strength and perspective. Strength to overcome your personal yetzer hara and to dress and act b’tznius with simcha; and perspective to realize that it is not your only mitzvah, it is one of many, and it will not determine the blessings or tragedies that befall the jews, just as you leaving your house to go to work will not determine these things.
And as a last note, for the male commentors on this thread, and for all males who feel the need to discuss this topic, the most untznius thing on earth is a man telling women how to dress, especially when he gets specific about the measurements of her clothing and the tightness. Or when he mentions “looking cute” as one commenter here did. This is a women’s area, men are not welcome, and men who come in and give their two cents on this personal women’s topic are vulgar and should not consider themselves frum, at least in the area of tznius. Perhaps Avraham Avinu’s message was for you men, when the malachim asked about his wife, Avraham basically answered them she is not your concern, mind your own business.