Thank you so much for this thread. Until now I have had so much trouble understanding people walking out of their houses with their knees showing. Even coming to BY events, even wives of talmidei chachamim. I would get so offended and really blamed those who do it for ‘making it ‘okay’ and making it harder for my daughters not to. And somehow, reading about how you know its wrong but struggle with it, has made an impression on me. I am relieved to hear that it means something and that you are fighting it. I never experienced that type of fight so I always assumed (wrongly) that you just didn’t care. It has defused me and I respect your efforts. Please forgive me for my faulty thinking. The oddest thing is that I’m usually not judgmental, I will always look for another side to every story, but this has always been a difficult topic for me.
As for chizuk, I have to agree with everyone who said to throw it out QUICK while you are in the moment. I had to do that with my baggy sleeves that ‘pretty much cover your elbow as long as you don’t move’ (sounds familiar? Yes I know that it wouldn’t bother me so much in others if it wasn’t a personal issue) I kept saying I shouldn’t wear them anymore but I really don’t have anything else, blah blah blah. Then one day (circa 9/11) I just threw them out!! It was hard but quick and I was so proud. When summer came I had no choice but to buy myself new shirts.
Also, I don’t know if this will help you but it works for me. I say to myself (“self”) if you do this when you shouldn’t, everyone who sees you will feel that much more comfortable doing it too. Do you really want that on your cheshbon? This often works for me, the concept of not wanting to be a michshol to others is more powerful than helping myself.
Again, please forgive me and stay strong!